loss

from family members to the loves in your life. how do you deal with that? how do you make it threw the day? i usually re-visit until it doesn't hurt as much anymore. be it pictures video "text" what ever was shared. it adds bricks to the walls. because what ever i go threw seems to stay with me good and bad. even if i meet a new person i tend to look at whats happend in my past and wait for the bad shit to happen.no i know thats not fair, however i am still learning about myself. i love myself more then anything and i don't like to be subject to any harm long or short term. my thing is being happy with me and the people i have around me.  i keep people at a distance because that is what is safe for me. if i let you in i feel very vulnerable and open. some that scares away some it gives them a power or a hold over you. like a lost companion. it just hurts.