Never had

A best friend. In a male that Saw me and i could talk to about anything. my fears, my ambition, my likes , my dislikes. i can go on a and on about the things that we talk about. and although he can't keep up with me in other areas its fine because im on cruise control and i know if i breath he will catch up. lol its funny we are like two kids all we do is laugh and plan and hang together. its like we are on a private island. Just us two. lol anyway i just wanted to share.-KB

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on issues that pop up in your life. a hand full of us can say OK. well this happened but its not about me. its not about anything personal it about this. some of us are so over talkative and short sided they make decisions based on them self. I dont' like when people are 100% of the time like that. We all have our issues but know that some that you meet in your life are bigger then you. Just because you have a year or two on your in age doesn't mean that you are the know all to end all. Growing up Knowing who i am and what i am capable of . has always been a gift. that i appreciate. I know not all of us are going to make it i just want to make it out in one piece.

This Weight thing

has really got me shaken. Im starting to think that i can't do something like getting it off. Im tired and i just want to get it off. effecting my mind like cancer. my friend is supportive but its not something i want to hear at the moment . i just need a good plan of attack. at this point not even my other personality is enough. i saw a random photo of me and i promise you i couldn't tell boob from waist. it has me so sad i want to cry when i look at it. im going to have to meditate to get it out of head. its all i can think about.

i will write again when i feel beter about all of me.
kb

looking forward

I am so looking forward to owning my business venture.i know its all baby steps and shit but im excited none the less. I have a great support system and everyday i look forward to getting in to the driver seat so i can see more of this great planet. Im really in a great space right at this moment and i wanted to share.
lqh

MY UNIVERSE.

My World. My very own personal space. I have decided that the fates will no longer effect me or affect me. I make my own Rules that make me happy. Right down to the people in my life. If your about that bullshit I cut you off and keep it pushing. I have truly found my balance and I am not longer going to let it tip or get out of whack due to people that have their own funky agenda when it comes to me and mine. I have things in my sight and it is a defiant want and need to get where I need to be. So with that said Things and people have been put in place to make what I want when ever I want to happen.

MOVING

its been on my mind for a while now. Just want to go and live on my own and not have to make compromise for anyone. Just me and my kid if she even wants to go if not she can stay with family. i really just want to be alone. no boy friend no girlfriend just me and my thoughts. its going to be one of those months.

Blah day

Early this morning with the start of not wanting to get out of bed. I was so not wanting to get up. its like I'm in a funk and nothing is going my way. I am grateful for everything that i have and are capable of doing and i want to do and travel more, with the time i have here on this plain. Thanks to the people in my life that love me and want to see me do better and go place. But today....... well today i just have the urge to get in my car and drive loll start over some place else, Family friends the whole nine.

Never been shy

I have never been on to be shy when it comes to the subject of sex. At 35, I am longing for adventure and romance and the thrill of being chased,wooed, and touched. lol anyone that I have meet my age and older either has one of these things or another. its a bit frustrating if I have to do it myself. then I ask the question: Why?
 Why even let someone, if they are not even on my level when it comes to sex take up my time?.
Its not like a I have a whole lot of time left I could Ascend tomorrow. Hell or even tonight. I can spend time telling people what I want and get half asses results or I can Travel to another place and throw myself out with little or no caution.
 However after that thrill is gone, how do I get that feeling back?
It's like a bad addicion even with me being celibate and holding out on sex, just to experience the chase. when it is fresh and every moment is juicy and ripe and the taste seem to taunt memories and every vision is so vivid and  you remember EVERYTHING about that person in pursuit of you. Then you come down and the person no longer sees you as someone to be desired and you loose interest and begin the hunt again.
Why? Why do we do it?? Why can't it be done over and over to use.
I use to give so much energy to the person that I was with. Everything about them turned me on I would have them in my thoughts every waking minute. To touch them would send me on a special high until I could do it again. Until the Passion from their energy didn't feed me enough. It didn't send chills up my spine because now they are chasing another or they have gotten "use" to me. Then they don't feel like they have to get me heated enough to get me to orgasm them it comes out to be completely about them. the communication stops and time is no longs spent between us and the Friendship gates come down and then their is nothing......
I don't like that part. All I need is someone from my planet. Someone that shares my passion and my appetite.

Dragging.

soooo 4  pounds later and i fasted for 3 days i am really going to have to get the hang of it to go more of a distance with that. Really wanting more time in my day and not always trying to race to go to sleep. My life at this point is at a slow drag in need of some excitement in the worse way. a chase or a race or a trip or something.

Day 1

SO FUCKED UP. lol omg head aches feeling sick. the Fast is NOT my friend. however i will continue  and stick to my goal. i will take more photos after my 10 days and see if  need to go further. i will keep you posted. well myself posted lol no one reads this shit lol
kb

My Juice fast

So after talking with a great Friend of mine. Thanks Jia and watching a documentary and buying a juicer and taking horrible true photos of myself in the bathroom. I have decided tomorrow will be my first day i do my 10 day fast. I suffer from migraines and now my body is just way to big for my short frame. I am 5'3" at 240lbs it's way past time of a change. so I'm letting you in on my little journey and i owe it to myself to stick to it. I love me some me.
 KITTEN BLACK.

2012

so many things on my to do list. finally taking it seriously enough to see changes wow. im impressed with myself. loving the new focus. diet ( life style change ) check. personal trainer at the gym check. business goals check and a side job to fund it where the start off fall short check. so looking forward to having my house built and traveling lol wow. LOVING ME so much CHECK.